Blessing to Daddy from Sophocles #1
Here's a version. But a second is under construction . . .
BLESSINGS TO DADDY, FROM SOPHOCLES
I want to kill you
plain and simple
graveyard dead, if I can
you pimple?
so they told me
just now at temple
oh the blood pounds on
it?s like an invasion
along the curvy route
of trivial evasion
Suppose we drink a cup of it
on this wine-dark occasion
I like the second stanza much better than the first. The first stanza, as I suppose you intend, is humorous, but overtly so because of the rhyme--simple -> pimple -> temple. A similar rhyme scheme is in the second stanza, but invasion -> evasion -> occasion seems to have an internal logic. The first rhyme scheme, however, seems forced. Why is Sophocles calling his daddy a pimple? Was Sophocles jewish? My perception of rhyme is based on sound and also on a semantic relationship among the rhyming words, which I'm unable to articulate in the first stanza.
Perhaps I am too cryptic here. And too flip. Sophocles, as you know, wrote Oedipus.